The following is a summary of the letter dated 16th May, 1912, written by a householder-devotee of the Holy Mother, to communicate his feelings arising out of a sudden spiritual experience. The incident took place in Shillong [in east India] where the writer, Panchaanan Brahmachari, was working as a school teacher. Interested readers may read the original letter in Bengali written by the blessed devotee that was published in Udbodhan, (Kartik 1346), the Bengali Journal of the Ramakrishna Mission.

With much hesitation I am writing about a miraculous incident that has left a lasting impression in my devotional life. A few months back one day I came from my school early owing to illness. Shillong looked like a deserted city since Dacca [now Bangla Desh] became a capital city. Most of the houses remained unoccupied and that gave a chance to the young antisocial elements to play havoc with public properties. Looting, arson, and house-breaking have become commonplace sight here.

Some coolies were engaged in my house for repairs and I was proceeding there on that day in spite of my sickness. It was about 2:30 P.M. No sooner had I gone there than a big fire was seen at a distance. I mistook it for a forest fire. Hurriedly I went there and saw with dismay that a house had caught fire. Frantically I ran hither and thither for buckets but in vain. Water was not available even in taps. At last I got only one bucketful of water in one house. While running with that I called my coolies to follow me. They were terribly upset by my madness and being spellbound I tried to get to the roof of the burning house.

This big house was at a distance of four yards from the original place of fire. In the meantime this house too was engulfed by fire. Sincere warning and loving advice failed to dissuade me from my rash adventure to put out the leaping fire with a bucketful of water. I did not know how it was possible for me to climb without any support. The blazing fire was helped by a gushing wind. And it was fire all around me. The coolies were simply stunned to think of my impending danger. There was none in that locality. On being asked, one coolie somehow lifted the bucket to my hand and ran away. These two coolies pathetically drew my pointed attention to the raging fire. Without paying any heed to their importunities I came to the centre of the roof made of straw. The bucket was almost empty while being lifted from below. The little water that remained could not put out the fire. The major portion of it fell on my body due to sudden gust of wind. By this time high-leaping flames had encircled me completely. Even then I could hear the bewailing of my two coolies. The crackling of fire made their voices inaudible to me. It was fire, fire and fire. My face was roasted. I could no longer bear the pain. Life was almost ebbing out. I was beside myself. I forgot about my body, forgot the world and made no attempt to save my life. Then I began shouting the words---"Mother, Mother". It was gushing out of my breast. I did not know how long this frenzied state was continued.

Dear Nemai, I cannot write, cannot tell what I saw at that critical moment of my life. I heard a sweet, divine voice---"Have no fear, I have come." I opened my eyes and saw my Mother made of lightning with her two hands raised upwards. With the anxiety of a mother, as it were, she had rushed to the scene to save me. The effulgence of her lightning robbed the radiant brilliance of fire. She was not terrible, although anxious. She was a picture of compassion. She had come to save me, as it were. I was the part and parcel of her life. Till then her hands were raised upwards. She brought them down as if to take away the burning power of fire. Then I felt absolute coolness in the midst of fire. I could not speak anything and forgot the outer consciousness while muttering the words---"Mother, Mother". I was in that state for nearly three hours.

The Sun was about to set. I woke up to the realities of the surrounding. The nearby house which caught fire first was completely gutted. But to the pleasant surprise of all not a single straw of the big house was burnt. This house was saved completely by the grace of Mother. I was on top of this house. This fact brought a new change in my vision. I was transported to another world. I saw everything beautiful, rapturous and soaked with divine glow. It was indeed the grace of Mother that brought an inner transformation in my life.

Seeing me moving, the coolies cried out, "Babu, you are still alive! Come this side, we shall help you to get down". Somehow I came near to the edge and they took me down like a child. From them I came to know that my face was burnt and it was full of blisters. I saw the green creeper on the roof completely burnt down although not a single straw of the roof was burnt. As per the information of the coolies, I was not to be seen by the leaping fire rising to seven or eight yards and the entire roof was engulfed by it. They heard my strenuous call, "Mother, Mother", and were convinced of my death when I remained motionless. After a good deal of time I became normal and asked them to put out the fire. Another four or five coolies came to that place and all of them brought water from the ditch and extinguished the fire. There was darkness all around. I began to proceed to my home with great difficulty. Two of my Brahmo friends met me on the way and naturally were surprised to see the miracle. After closing the room from inside I sat down and began to weep with those two words "Mother, Mother," on my lips. The whole night passed away in that way.

As usual the condition of my face became horrible. People who intimately knew me for a pretty long time also could not recognize me, but in spite of such provocative remarks, I did not lose my peace of mind. A few weeks back, one of my friends along with his family came to my house. They were from Dacca. Their   frequent depressing remarks made me a little upset one day. After a while I forgot all about it and had a talk with the friend till late night. One good habit I had. I used to get up at 3 A.M. regularly, no matter when I went to bed. That particular night I sat for meditation as usual. But a quite unusual took place. I lost my outer consciousness and the entire room was filled up with divine light. I saw that particular figure of Mother with a smiling face. That day she was restless. Her two eyes were red. But that night she was calm and quiet. She appeared before me as an embodiment of love and affection. That beauty I cannot describe. In sweet but affectionate tone she told me, "Is it not that you were a little disturbed with regard to your facial condition?"

"Yes, I was. But not at present."

"Well, why do you not tell me about it? It will be O.K. just now.

"O Mother, that I can never tell you, that's your grace. This is all right, what shall I do with outward show? There are many boons that I can ask for." She began to persist, "Please do tell once. It will be again like your original face at once. Please, once. Don't entrap me in your maya, I will not ask about it."

She burst into laughter radiating peace, sweetness and serenity. She spoke with a divine smile, "Well, when you won't tell me, I like to say that it will be all right on the coming Chaitra Sankranti day [March 15], after your bath." And she vanished after this.* I wanted to tell something but could not. I broke into tears for not being able to see her. It was getting late and hence I had to open the door with great pain.

Days were rolling on and the appointed day was a little ahead. I was much worried inwardly. My friend, as usual, began to tease me off and on with pessimism. One day I could not resist myself and divulged the secret before him. Some others also came to know about it. Some doubted the bona fides of the statement. This sort of face could never be normal. Everybody showed extraordinary curiosity regarding the result. I went to bed late that night.

Next day being the fateful day I was seized with uncanny fear and passed the whole night with mental disturbance. In case, it proved otherwise my Mother's name and glory will lose its sanctity and may even be condemned by people. I should not have divulged the secret. Anyway, after day-break with the lapse of time, I was possessed by oppressing fear. I mustered courage and began to proceed to particular fountain for bath. That was my usual place of bath. I was not able to go even a few steps. A pervasive doubt began to assail me. I was like a drunkard walking with faltering steps. I was harbouring the idea of suspicion. Disbelief agitated my soul. I was unhappy thinking about the prospective loss of prestige and honor of my Mother. That idea caused an excruciating pain in my mind. I made up my mind to go away from my acquaintances in case the prophecy turned falsified. It was half-a-mile distance from my residence. But this seemed to be an insurmountable path. With a disturbed mind, drooping soul, seemingly paralyzed body and languid heart I stood motionless. A strange feeling was generated in me. I forgot everything about the significance of the day. A complete but pleasant forgetfulness overtook me. I began walking as usual, and after bath I was busy in spreading the wet clothing. My friend and his wife saw my face minutely and stood stupefied before me. I was not happy at that. After a long silence they exclaimed: "There is not even a single scar mark on your face, what a strange phenomenon!" As soon as they spoke about it I began to shake. After a while I could cry with the word "Mother, Mother" on my lips. Again I wept profusely there and with great difficulty I entered into my room. I was trembling and failing to maintain my balance. I fell down inside the bolted room. Dear brother, I can't express any further....

* Between the dream at night and the assurance of the Mother, and the cure there were 4 days only.

Books by Swami Tathagatananda:

1. The Journey of the Upanishads to the West, 2003
2. The Vedanta Society of New York -- A Brief History, 2000
3. Mahabharat--Katha (Bengali), 1998
4. Ramayan Anudhyan (Bengali), 1996
5. Healthy Values of Living, 1996
6. Meditation on Swami Vivekananda, 1994
7. Meditation on Shri Ramakrishna and Swami Vivekananda, 1993
8. Albert Einstein and His Human Face, 1993
9. Glimpses of Great Lives, 1989
10. Shubha Chinta (Bengali), 1988
11. Smaran--Manan (Bengali), 1987

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