Family Life

In Indian culture we find the greatest emphasis being laid on the cultivation of knowledge.

This is in keeping with the philosophic bent of mind which wants to search for truth. "Truth alone prevails and not untruth" (Mundaka Upanishads, 3.1.6) is a well-known saying in Vedanta.

Continuity and growth in social life depend on the persistence of memory. We naturally feel inclined to follow those precepts which are preserved in our culture. Traditional values are very important in our lives. We cannot safely uproot life from its traditional environment; spiritual life depends on a living tradition and the structure contributes to this tradition.

Hinduism is essentially a religion of values. Spiritual values depend on the price paid in the pains and aches of self-sacrifice. In Indian culture, ideas and ideals are rooted in ancient tradition and associated with the holy names of a long line of ideal parents whose lives have entered into our being. Among the various types of human relationships, that between man and woman is the most important. While monastic life and social service are open to women, marriage and motherhood are considered their normal vocation. The institution of marriage is glorified in Hindu tradition. Man and woman ordinarily constitute a fundamental unity. Hence marriage is a spiritual fellowship.

The Indian woman is taught to retain her essential feminine character and grace. She gives more, takes less. She assumes the burden of the family. As the mother she is first and foremost the teacher of her children, the custodian of family culture. It is her supreme privilege to raise her children, to transmit spiritual culture to them and to help them grow in all respects.

To a Hindu, God is the Mother of all creation, and as such God is often addressed as Mother. Indian culture asks men to regard all women, as different forms of the Divine Mother, to look upon women with veneration and tenderness. Hindus are asked to look upon mother as Goddess (The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, p. 168). The mother is more worthy of reverence than father or teacher, according to Hindu scriptures. Says Manu, the Hindu law-giver:

"From the point of view of reverence due, a teacher is tenfold to a mere lecturer, a father a hundredfold to a teacher, and a mother a thousandfold to a father." (Code of Manu, Manu Smriti, 11-145)

"Mothers are the greatest custodians of Hindu culture" (S. Radhakrishnan and Charles Moore,eds., Source Book of Indian Philosophy pp. 189-190). Building on the natural self-sacrifice inherent in motherhood, their cultural training encourages them to honor the ideals of chastity, unselfishness, patience, and forbearance with the hope of raising the spiritual consciousness of the people.

It is the atmosphere of peace based on a spiritual view of life that makes a house a real home, a laboratory for the growth of human personality through renunciation and service, sharing, and caring. The Upanishads expounded the idea of man and woman as equal halves of Divinity. (Brihadaranyaka Upanisad, 1.4.3) This spiritual view of human beings as envisioned by Vedic civilization became the pivot of Indian culture. It made a powerful impact in socio-spiritual life. Ideals of family life and social relationships were tremendously influenced by that vision of life. The position of a woman in any society is a true index of its spiritual and cultural growth.

According to Indian tradition, that family is happy and prosperous where women are happy and contented. For it is the loving wife, the affectionate mother, the woman of spiritual strength who makes the home a tangible paradise on earth. (S. Radhakrishnan and Charles Moore,eds., Source Book of Indian Philosophy pp. 189-190) In that peaceful atmosphere man finds great scope to unfold his divine spirit by emulating the examples of elders who embody high qualities of life. Swami Vivekananda says:

"She (Sita) is the very type of the true Indian woman, for all the Indian ideals of a perfected woman have grown out of that one life of Sita, and here she stands these thousands of years, commanding the worship of every man, woman, and child, throughout the length and breadth of the land of Aryavarta (Northern India where the ancient Aryan race settled). . .Sita has gone into the very vitals of our race. She is there in the blood of every Hindu man and woman; we are all children of Sita. (The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda III, pp. 255-56)

Following the footprints of Sita, India in every age did produce millions of women who sacrificed their selfish life to help develop a healthy culture through their self-effacement, nobility, patience, forbearance, and great purity of character. How their dignified submission to man's aggressive attitude often resulted in the refinement of men is a great lesson of human history. Most Indian women accepted cheerfully the rigorous obligations of their domestic duties and so enriched family life as a whole. Through their dedication, heroism, loyalty, and chastity they consequently made substantial contributions to the public good.

Our cultural history is replete with examples of women who left an immortal legacy by their exalted living. In modern times we find an eloquent oppression of these values in the divine life of Holy Mother, Sri Sarada Devi (1853-1920). Entirely rooted in divine consciousness, she radiated peace, joy, and fullness of life to one and all, Her mother-heart regarded all human beings as her children and poured incessant love on them in the form of spontaneous, ungrudging service and spiritual ministration. The fundamental values that constitute the essence of womanliness, the Eternal Feminine, found living expression in her life; rather, they were the very breath of her life. In Sarada Devi, we find the unique synthesis of the highest spiritual experience and the rigorous exacting demands of domestic life. The constant refrain of Indian culture is to see Divinity in all things. The life of Holy Mother is the latest authentic proof of that high idealism. She is a great educator of humanity.

Hinduism does not demand any undue restriction of the freedom of human reason, thought, feeling, or will. Each person is allowed to grow to his or her best according to his or her own native grain and temperament. This is the well-known doctrine of Svadharma (nature of his own) discussed in the Gita. (The Bhagavad-Gita III-35)

To the Hindu mind religion is the manifestation of the divinity already in humankind. A spiritual attitude should be brought to every department of practical life. Marriage is sacramental, and family life, imbued with this attitude, affords each member the scope to manifest his or her native divine qualities through mutual service and self sacrifice. Conjugal love is to be sublimated into devotion to the spiritual welfare of the entire family, helping all to widen and deepen their character and to perform their domestic and social duties as means to spiritual growth and enlightenment.

  Part 6   Vedanta 101

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Books by Swami Tathagatananda:

1. The Vedanta Society of New York -- A Brief History, 2000
2. Mahabharat--Katha (Bengali), 1998
3. Ramayan Anudhyan (Bengali), 1996
4. Healthy Values of Living, 1996
5. Meditation on Swami Vivekananda, 1994
6. Meditation on Shri Ramakrishna and Swami Vivekananda, 1993
7. Glimpses of Great Lives, 1989
8. Shubha Chinta (Bengali), 1988
9. Smaran--Manan (Bengali), 1987

You can order these and other books on Vedanta from The Vedanta Society of New York.

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